Chuck's Key to Knowing
by prlrocks
Summary: Casey and Chuck have been lovers for several years. Still, Casey keeps his past firmly secret. One day, Chuck finds a locked box under Casey’s bed. He’s tempted. Does this box hold the secrets to Casey’s past? Chuck/Casey


**Title:** Chuck's Key to Knowing  
**Rating:** PG-13ish?  
**Ship:** Chuck/Casey; Established relationship.  
**Word Count:** 2,500  
**Warnings:** Nothing big; angsty fluff and light sex talk  
**Beta:** ru_salki99, who I must thank again. :D  
**Disclaimers:** Not mine  
**Feedback:** Please. It makes me happy.  
**Summery:** Answer to plotbun_shelter (group on LJ) prompt of a key. Casey and Chuck have been lovers for several years. Still, Casey keeps his past firmly secret. One day, Chuck finds a locked box under Casey's bed. He's tempted. Does this box hold the secrets to Casey's past?

* * *

After hearing the water running for a few minutes, Chuck leapt up from the bed and ran down to Casey's office retrieving the key from it's 'hiding' spot, in the second desk drawer. He then quickly made his way back up the stairs. Getting down on both knees, he yanked the old fashioned box out from under the bed. Running his hands over the wood, he licked his lips and listened for a moment making sure Casey was just where he should be, in the shower. _Good._

It was Casey's. Chuck had found it when he was looking to a stray sock, one morning, after he had spent the night. He hadn't tried to open it then. Casey had still been lying in the bed it was under, after all, but like a regular Pandora's box it had stayed in his mind. Casey wasn't the most sentimental guy, but boxes like that tended to be filled with 'memories'.

They had since moved into together, but it had taken months for Chuck to 'find' the matching key. It had happened when Casey had asked Chuck to go into his office to fetch a bill that needed to be paid. Chuck had gone into the wrong drawer by mistake and there it was. Sitting there, like it was just a pen or a stray paperclip. It was the old fashioned, brass sort, so Chuck knew exactly what it unlocked.

Now sitting with the box, he pondered opening it. It could hold anything from old tax records to baseball cards to Casey's birth certificate. Yes, lovers they were, but Chuck knew full well that he didn't even know Casey's real name. After three years of being together, he wanted to know. He was dying to know really. He had once asked Casey if it bothered him that he didn't even say his real name in bed. Casey had said no. He had been John for so long it hardly mattered. Besides, he knew what Chuck meant. To Chuck, John was John so as long as he screamed 'John' out and not Bryce or god forbid, Sarah, that was all that mattered.

Still, it was a bug crawling underneath Chuck's skin. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, the itch wouldn't go away.

He placed the key in the lock. As he did so, his hands shook and guilt overwhelmed him. He had thought about this, many times, but now that he was here….

Realizing he was now sweating, he wiped his face with the back of his hand. It could hold everything or it could hold nothing. Either way, he knew once he turned that key he had betrayed Casey. Was it worth it? His heart pounded as the question ran through his head.

"I can't," he muttered to himself, allowing his face to fall into his cupped hands. Taking a few deep breaths to steady himself, he let out a sigh and then removed the key.

"Thank you."

Chuck turned at the whisper. Casey was standing there, hair wet and wearing nothing but a towel. It was normally a view that inspired lust, but now inspired fear.

"John! I'm so sorry. Don't be mad!"

Casey walked over and sat on the bed. "I'm a very private person, Chuck."

"It's just hard not knowing," he said, with eyes that pleaded for understanding. "Anything."

Part of Chuck wanted to fume. Three years together, plus two years before. Wasn't that enough to inspire trust? Still, at this moment he knew he was in the wrong.

Casey leaned down, tilting Chuck's head up by the chin and gave him a kiss. "I know." He ran his thumb over Chuck's cheek for a moment, before pulling away. Casey's eyes were narrowed and focused on his as though he were trying to judge something. "It's been a long time since you showed interest in my past."

"Always interested."

Casey stared at Chuck a good long moment, like he was trying to decide something. He patted the bed. "Hand me the box."

Chuck grabbed it, before getting up and sitting down next to his lover.

"If you looked, I would have been furious." His tone was cold and distant. Casey rarely talked to him like that these days.

Chuck closed his eyes in shame.

"It would have been like the good old days, me threatening to kill you. Maybe throwing you up against a wall… and not in the 'fun' way I normally do."

"You would have broken up with me, wouldn't you?"

A tremor ran through Casey's body. "I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to ever do that. Not after everything."

Chuck knew Casey loved him, deeply. He had rarely said as much, but he had said it a few times and proved it many times over daily. They had been through so much together. He knew it was near impossible for Casey to ever allow himself to be vulnerable with someone. Yet, he did so with him. As he thought about this, it made him feel worse about invading Casey's privacy.

Casey's jaw was hard set. "Key," he said, holding his hand out.

Chuck dropped it into his palm. Once in his grasp, the man ran his thumb hard, up and down against the key. Chuck watched as some inner struggle worked is way out inside of Casey mind. Finally sighing, he placed the key in the lock and turned it. "It's between you and me, got it?"

Chuck nodded and bit his lip in anticipation.

Casey readjusted himself on the bed so he was leaning against the pillows. Chuck quickly crawled over to his side, just in time to see Casey open the box. He lifted a hand full of the papers out and shuffled through them. Picking one out, he handed it to Chuck.

It was a faded photograph that had that distinct 1970's look to it. If the quality of the photograph hadn't lead him on to that fact, the clothing and the abundant use to browns yellows and orange would have been a dead give away. In the picture there were five people; a family portrait. Chuck's eyes scanned over the two boys. "That's you," he guessed pointing to one of them.

"No, that's my brother, Phil."

Chuck's eyes went to the other boy. They bulged. He was chubby, wearing a hideous striped shirt and a grimace… yup, that was John. "Wow!"

"Awkward phase. Every teen has them." Casey smiled. "I'm still waiting for you to grow out of yours."

"Hey!" Chuck's eyes continued to look over the photo. "You look just like your father. If I didn't know better, I'd ask you if you were immortal and that was you. Like Richard Alpert from _Lost._"

Casey rolled his eyes, before running his finger over the picture. "My parents, George and Linda and my little sister, Alice."

Chuck now pointed to the picture right at 'John.' "And him."

Casey frowned and muttered something.

"What was that?"

"Harold."

"Harold?" It wasn't a horrible name, but it wasn't an award winning name either. But then neither was Phil, George, Linda or Alice either. "Harold," he repeated several times, getting use to the name on his lips.

Casey gave a pained smile. "I really prefer John."

"What about Harry?"

"_John_."

Chuck laughed, "Harold and Charles… Chuck and Harry."

Casey hummed with slight annoyance. He passed another picture to him. Chuck's eyebrows shot up. "Improvement, right?"

"Yeah!" It was a causal picture, a bunch of guys hanging out, drinking, from what looked like Casey's early days in the Marines. Casey was young and muscular and wearing a tank top that damn well showed it. His eyes flickered back up and ran over his lover's now half nude body. The towel he had tied around his hips after his shower now barely covered anything. "Mmmm. Though if you ask me, I think you've just gotten hotter over the years." He let his hands glide over what had for quite some time been 'his' to touch.

Casey laughed and wrapping his arm around him, squeezed Chuck against his side. He affectionately gave him a small kiss on the side his head. "Thanks, but tell me that again when I'm eighty."

"Alright," Chuck said lightly.

Both of them tried to hold back smiles at the implication that had just been made. Chuck was pretty sure they both had failed… well at least Casey did.

Chuck leaned against Casey's shoulder and watched as he went through the rest of the photos. He listened as small bits of Casey's life were revealed to him. Somehow through it all, Casey had hung onto these memories.

Suddenly, a picture he recognized met his eye. It was him, Casey and… Sarah. The early days. In it Casey was looking down grumpily, his arms crossed. Sarah, she was bright eyed and smiling at the camera like her whole life was ahead of her. And him? He was gazing at Sarah in that way he always used to, with awe and longing. What a trio they had made.

As he continued to stare and remember, he felt Casey stiffen beside him. As Chuck turned his head, their eyes met. The pain was evident.

Sarah had died on a mission a few years back. Losing a partner still took its toll on Casey. It was always 'there' on every mission they had. It had been soon after that him and Casey had become lovers. Chuck knew that Casey still thought they only 'came to be', because Sarah was out of the picture. That he'd be with Sarah if she hadn't died. He also knew that Casey was not one to forget.

Chuck purposefully pulled that picture away and placed it on the bottom of the pile, revealing the picture underneath. Just as he thought, it was just one of the two of them. They looked as happy as Chuck always thought they were. Casey's arms were wrapped around him and he was even smiling. Ellie had taken the picture on her digital. He wondered how Casey had gotten it. "I'd not trade these moments for anything. As selfish as that is," he whispered.

Casey blinked, but said nothing. His expression remained passive.

"I mean it."

Casey closed his eyes, accepting his words and leaning in for a kiss. It was tender, yet full of meaning. It was the sort of kiss Casey gave him when he was feeling far too much, yet couldn't speak a word. It was the sort of kiss that still shot straight to his heart after all this time. It was the sort that said, 'I love you'.

When they pulled apart, Casey gave him a lazy smile. Snuggling into him and cupping Casey's face in his hands, Chuck leaned his forehead against Casey's. He could feel Casey shallow breath against his face. He ran a thumb over Casey's lip, for a moment, before returning for another taste

As he sensed Casey shoving the pictures aside, Chuck ran his hand down his chest to the towel below. He groaned into the kiss with what he found; the beginnings Casey's arousal. As Casey ran his hands up his back and t-shirt, Chuck started to slowly position himself on top of him to deepen their exploration of each others mouths.

Suddenly, he jumped.

It was with a loud, startling clang that Chuck noticed the box had fallen to the floor. Eyeing it from the corner of his eye, he saw that from it, two books fell out. He ripped his lips away even as his body screamed for him to do otherwise. "What are those?" he choked out breathlessly.

"Who cares?" But as Casey pulled him in for another kiss, Chuck's focus was still on the books. Pulling away, Casey sighed. "I'm not getting anywhere, until your curiosity is satisfied, am I?"

Chuck slide back off Casey so that he was again next to him, but looked over him to the floor below. "Sorry, it's just, they're distracting."

"Just something I jot things down in from time to time. Now, can we get back to the sex?"

"You keep a diary?" Chuck said with wonder.

Casey scoffed, "It's not a diary, it's a journal."

"What the difference?"

"A journal is far more manly."

Chuck laughed. "If you say so. Well, can I?"

Casey quirked his eyebrow and titled his head at the implication.

"Just the parts with me in it? Please?"

"You'd not want to know everything I wrote about you. It wasn't always nice."

He could easily imagine what Casey wrote about him in the early days. Chuck smiled. "Then just share the nice bits."

Casey leaned in and snickered softly in his ear. "Oh, I wrote about your nice bits quite often. In fact, there is some rather dirty stuff about us in there."

Chuck's mouth formed an 'o'. Before he gathered himself together and demanded excitedly, "Like what?"

"Oh, you know, the biggies. Our first time; the time after the raid of the porn shop."

Chuck gave a very Casey like grunt as he remembered that one. Thank god for illegal gun rackets that ran out of the back of sex shops. Their sex life hadn't been the same since.

"That time in Rome, in that old Church."

"We're going to hell for that one."

"Just for that? I think we've both done worse."

He looked up and puckered his lips, like he was thinking. "Yeah, but not in churches."

Casey ran his fingers through Chuck's curls. "Just my fantasies in general," he admitted, getting back to the train of thought he seemed to be more interested in.

"Did I hear that right? Fantasies about the General!" Chuck teased. He captured his tongue between his teeth finding his own joke far too amusing.

Casey slapped in on the side of the head, playfully, before returning his hand back to Chuck's hair. "She's not my type."

Chuck looked into Casey's blue eyes. They were sparkling with happiness. He wondered how he'd been with the man three years and never knew he kept a record of such thing. Then he never pictured him holding onto photos either. "Will you share them with me?"

"If you're good," he said dryly.

"Oh, I can be _good_. Very, very good."

Casey gave him a twisted smile. "I know."

Chuck kissed his cheek and whispered, "Harry."

Casey groaned with pleasure. "Just for tonight, then tomorrow it's John again."

"You're just saying that so I'll have sex with you. Right?"

"Yes, now can we get on with it?"

"Yes, sir!" Chuck laughed and promptly leaned in to meet Casey's lips again. As he did so, he knew that he loved this man. More then anything and nothing he could find in or out of a box would ever change that.

**Note:** I had to name him Harold, because I wanted something that could be turned into something nicknamey like Chuck is to Charles. :P Also, this isn't what I should have been writing, but it got in my head and wouldn't go away. I'll be back to my main fic after this, for those who care. I promise.


End file.
